Post 22/2025 Goshen, Indiana: In the introduction to The Book of Joy, (Avery, 2016), by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, with Douglas Abrams, Abrams notes, “In this book I have tried to share with you their intimate conversations, which were filled with seemingly endless laughter and punctuated by many poignant moments of recalling love and loss.”

The depth and breadth of love, the inevitability and pain of loss, these are dynamics that shape our lives. Filled with joy, laughter, suffering and heartache. Recalled in poignant moments. The good measure of one’s life.

To the question, What is the purpose of life? The Dalai Lama said, “After much consideration, I believe that the purpose of life is to find happiness. . . . From the very core of our being, we simply desire joy and contentment. But so often these feelings are fleeting and hard to find, like a butterfly that lands on us and then flutters away.”

Rather than trying to summarize the book, I encourage you to take a trip to the library and check it out. Increase the discoveries by checking out the new books, perhaps the large print shelves.

So be it. I want to pick up on the theme of love and loss.

We spent a few days at a cottage in neighboring LaGrange County, owned by my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for more than 50 years. It’s a restful, cozy place. Cottage day memories include grilling pork burgers, hot dogs and sweet corn. Work bees to put in the pier and lift station. Skiing. Games. Catch-up conversations. Boating to an adjacent lake to check on the eagle’s nest. Hauling off leaves in the fall. A fair number of years ago, manually lifting and scooting the shore station onto the yard and removing the pier.

Big changes have taken place over the years, including major remodels and additions, including a garage, new well, county sewer hookup, landscaping and more. I think of those years as focused on family, friends, festivities, fishing, fix-its, freedom moments, forays from the lake, fun.

Sadly, health, requiring nursing care, prevents our brother-in-law Gerald from cozying up at the cottage. Last summer he could. Mary is thus limited in the time she has to drive the 150 miles to LaGrange county. This week Marty and I keenly felt their missing enlivening presence. Thankfully, we were able to visit them a few weeks ago and we look forward to joining Mary, and others, at the cottage down the road.

Our interactions with Gerald and Mary, covering more than 50 years, provide many moments of recalling love and loss. Life has been, continues to be, and will be good. Memorable moments of family, friends, faith. Joy.

In The Book of Joy, the authors conclude, “Ultimately, joy is not something to learn, it is something to live. And our greatest joy is lived in deep, loving, and generous relationships with others.” At this point Marty and Mary’s late sister Doris would say, “Let’s sing, ‘Joy to the World.'”

Pics from the lake

During the few days we spent at the lake this week we had a downpour and thereafter more sun than we could endure outdoors. I was going to write about the weather, but there’s plenty enough of that conversation going around, certainly properly and to good effect even as we try to avoid complaining at getting up early to take a walk.

May many poignant moments of recalling love and loss be yours and mine as we live our greatest joys. Joy, I’ll try to think about that when I’m sitting in the dentist chair tomorrow.

Peace and joy,

-John